frequently asked questions

"If your whole outlook on this product is that it is free from all of the impurities of regular water, then how are you supposed to rehydrate the water?"
Response:  If you rehydrate the product, we suggest using a product that does not contain impurities, otherwise it defeats the purpose.

"... you have got to be shitting me!"
Response:  Please don't swear.  How would you like your children to read this?  How would you like them to start swearing at everyone around them?  Do you realize that people like you corrupt our future generations?  You demoralize our universe.  I hold you solely responsible for the damages imposed on our economy, the growth of gangs in public schools, pollution in the air, and for my neighbor's dog who keeps pooping on my lawn.  Damn you!

"I just want to know how you guys are going to get away with selling this!!!"
Response:  It' really easy.  Give us your money, and we ship the product.  It's a lot of fun.  Give it a try.

"How many of the 27 steps actually involve the dehydration?  I think I have a new 1-step process (tip the container upside down) which would be far more economical than a more complicated process"
Response:  We tested your method in our labs and every time the only result was wet feet.  When companies say don't accept cheap imitations, they are talking about people like you.... Products made by poorly trained people in impoverished countries, methods that lack any scientific foundation.  To all our readers, Do Not Accept Any Cheap Imitations.  There's only one Buy Dehydrated Water!

"Do you have overnight delivery?  I don't want my water to evaporate."
Response:  Don't worry, we dehydrate the water so that it won't evaporate.

"Can we get married?"
Response:  With enough money, anything is possible.

"Can I have your baby?"
Response:  Yes, please!  Do you want my 2 month old, 4 month old, or the 8 month old baby?  Better yet, if you buy one, I'll give the other two for free.  Wait a minute, how about if I pay you to take all three of them?