As many as 30 million people served by 819 public water systems could be drinking water containing unhealthy levels of lead, according to the EPA.

In 1987, 13,000 people in Carrollton, Georgia became will with cryptosporidiosis from drinking municipal water.

In 1993, 400,000 residents of Milwaukee, Wisconsin became ill from drinking municipal water, again due to cryptosporidiosis.  Some residents with weaker immune systems even died from this outbreak. 

Don't become a victim of contaminated water!  You know your current water supply may be hazardous to your health.  So take action.  Demand a higher quality of life.  Demand Dehydrated Water... Simply the cleanest and purest for of water on Earth!

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"How do you dehydrate water?  Please explain the process in detail."

Response: If we tell you how to make dehydrated water, why would you buy it from us?  Sorry, can't help you on this one.

"How many replies do you actually get from this site and what exactly do you send as a sample?"

Response: We receive a reply about every 12 seconds.  We ship a sample package of dehydrated water.  Hey, couldn't you have figured that out from our domain name?

 

"Is this a prank?... a midterm to see how many suckers there are in this world?"

Response:  No, we already found you.  This site was made for those who enjoy the benefits of health, happiness, and dehydrated water.  So enjoy!

 

"Isn't dehydrated water basically 2 parts hydrogen and 1 part oxygen, which is basically the air you breathe when it is broken down?  Did I miss something?

Response:  Yes, it appears you have missed something.  H2O is regular hydrated water; the same polluted stuff that comes out of your sink.  We do not offer H20 or hydrated water.  As you can tell from our website, we only offer Dehydrated water.

 

"Does your product or process harm the ozone layer or increase pollution levels?  Do you test your product on animals?  Do you recklessly use an irreplaceable natural resource?"

Response:  No, No, No!  We care about the inhabitants and the environment of this great world.  Our product is safe, natural, and everyone can use it.

 

"This is really cool!  I take it you are retired or independently wealthy to spend so much time on your site."

Response:  Thank you for the complement.  Actually, I have no life.  I live on a very small, remote island, located a million miles away from civilization.  I get paid .02 cents per hour to respond to worthless emails like yours.

 

"Can hospitals use your dehydrated water for enemas."

Response:  Yes, infact we were informed that it did not make as much mess as the hydrated water.  In addition, whatever came out looked like talcum powder.

 

"Is this a gag?"

Response:  Are you serious?

 

"It's worth sending you $9.95 just to see what I get.  I can't believe you have so many satisfied customers."

Response:  I can't believe you can be so dense.  From the name of our web site, I thought everyone would be able to figure out that we sell dehydrated water.  You are proof that this is not the case.  If anyone knows any way of making this clearer, please let us know.

 

"Can I stretch out my 50 gallon package of dehydrated water by mixing it with 70 gallons of water?"

Response:  Common, don't be cheap.  It only costs $9.95 per 50 gallons.  Just buy another one.  Besides, there is nothing worse than the taste of diluted water.

 

"I know this is a really STUPID question, but do you spoon dehydrated water in your mouth?"

Response:  You're absolutely correct...  That is a very stupid question.  Thanks for sharing your intelligence with the world.

 

"Has anyone ever sent you money and ordered dehydrated water?"

Response:  Yes, thousands of people.  We receive orders daily.

 

"Does the Better Business Bureau know about this site?"

Response:  I'm not certain.  I hope they do though.  Everyone could use some nice, refreshing, dehydrated water... even those BBB thugs.

 

"Does dehydrated water come in different flavors?  Like some of the flavored waters?"

Response:  From random taste tests, we have determined that our customers felt our water tasted too clean.  So we are now market testing flavors that the general public are more accustomed to.  They include Super Sewage Flavor, Oil Spill Delight, and Tropical Mold fortified with Rust.  If the results are positive, you will see these added to our online store.

 

"What makes dehydrated water so much cleaner than regular water?"

Response:  All the impurities have been removed.

 

"Should I drink dehydrated water if I'm dehydrated?"

Response:  If you rehydrate it first, it will quench your thirst.

 

"Do you have plans to open a dehydrated water bar?  Maybe you could work together with owners of already existing oxygen bars."

Response:  Sounds like you should become one of our franchise owners.  Sign up today!

 

"If my delivery of dehydrated water is delivered while I am at work and it rains on the box before I can take it inside, will it flood my driveway?"

Response:  Yes, it's possible.  To prevent this from occurring, you should make sure all your drains are clean of debris before you go to work.

 

"Do you sell in bulk --- I would like to fill my swimming pool with dehydrated water.  Can I drown if I fall asleep in a pool filled with dehydrated water?"

Response:  We do sell in bulk.  Just let us know how many gallons you need, and we'll be able to quote you a price.  I've heard of many amazing things that I never thought possible.  I know one person who seriously thought the CD player on their computer was a cup holder.  Another person though the mouse was an ergonomic foot rest.  If you are one of these people, yes, it is possible that you will drown.  But then you might be doing society a favor... so go for it!

 

"What effects does it produce if you snort it?"

Response:  Dry sinus passage

 

"Do you have any pictures of your product?"

Response:  Yes

 

"Do you sell dehydrated water by weight or by volume."

Response:  We sell by the gallon, but that is in the hydrated form.  So a package of 25 gallons of dehydrated water, is actually 25 gallons when it is rehydrated.  The dehydrated form of water is much less in weight and volume than water in its hydrated form.

 

"Are you guys for real?  This is a bunch of dehydrated shit."

Response:  Yes, we are real people.  And no, we do not sell dehydrated shit.  Perhaps we should look further into the market potential of that product.

 

"Can you take a shower in dehydrated water?"

Response:  Yes, and it will leave you with a very unique and remarkable dry feeling.  The best part is that you won't even need a towel to dry off.

 

"So in plain, simple English, what is dehydrated water?"

Response:  It's one of the cleanest, purest, healthiest substance on Earth.

 

"I recently opened one of your packages and inhaled some of your product.  Can I get illnesses from dehydrated water in the lungs?"

Response:  Unlike the dangers associated with regular water in the lungs, it has been proven that our dehydrated water does not pose any threat to your lungs, when consumed in moderation... anything consumed in excessive amounts could be dangerous.

 

"If I jumped into a pool of dehydrated water, would I drown?"

Response:  Try it and let us know the results.  But first get some life insurance and list us as your sole beneficiary.

"Does dehydrated water stay crispy - even in milk?"

Response:  We highly recommend dehydrated water with milk products.  It adds a robust, yet airy feeling to the milk.

 

"For the Dumb idiots who can't figure it out... Water is H2O, Remove the H2 you are removing the Hydrogen, leaving O, or Oxygen."

Response:  I'm sorry, and what was your point with this statement?  We sell dehydrated water.  We do not sell hydrated water, nor do we sell pure oxygen.  By the way, you might consider enrolling in elementary school to learn the rules of capitalization.  Good luck on your educational endeavors.

 

"Is dehydrated water suitable for those on a low sodium diet?"

Response:  Yes!

 

"How do I stop the dehydrated water escaping when I your package?"

Response:  Upon opening the package, the contents should be rehydrated immediately.  If you don't plan on doing this, we recommend leaving the package sealed.

 

"Can you ship to the UK?  If not, I would be interested in opening up a franchise for you."

Response:  We ship to the UK, but we would also entertain your franchise idea.  Please provide us with contact information so we can further discuss.

 

"If your whole outlook on this product is that it is free from all of the impurities of regular water, then how are you supposed to rehydrate the water?"

Response:  If you rehydrate the product, we suggest using a product that does not contain impurities, otherwise it defeats the purpose.

 

"... you have got to be shitting me!"

Response:  Please don't swear.  How would you like your children to read this?  How would you like them to start swearing at everyone around them?  Do you realize that people like you corrupt our future generations?  You demoralize our universe.  I hold you solely responsible for the damages imposed on our economy, the growth of gangs in public schools, pollution in the air, and for my neighbor's dog who keeps pooping on my lawn.  Damn you!

 

"I just want to know how you guys are going to get away with selling this!!!"

Response:  It' really easy.  Give us your money, and we ship the product.  It's a lot of fun.  Give it a try.

 

"How many of the 27 steps actually involve the dehydration?  I think I have a new 1-step process (tip the container upside down) which would be far more economical than a more complicated process"

Response:  We tested your method in our labs and every time the only result was wet feet.  When companies say don't accept cheap imitations, they are talking about people like you.... Products made by poorly trained people in impoverished countries, methods that lack any scientific foundation.  To all our readers, Do Not Accept Any Cheap Imitations.  There's only one Buy Dehydrated Water!

 

"Do you have overnight delivery?  I don't want my water to evaporate."

Response:  Don't worry, we dehydrate the water so that it won't evaporate.

 

"Can we get married?"

Response:  With enough money, anything is possible.

 

"Can I have your baby?"

Response:  Yes, please!  Do you want my 2 month old, 4 month old, or the 8 month old baby?  Better yet, if you buy one, I'll give the other two for free.  Wait a minute, how about if I pay you to take all three of them?

 

"I know this is off topic, but how can you have children that are 2 and 4 months apart from each other?

Response:  No one said they are from the same mother.  I was just kidding.  I don't have any kids.  I view them as a threat to my dehydrated water empire.

 

"wtf is dehydrated water?  do you like eat it or something?  what the hell!  freaking crazy!"

Response:  You sound like one of those trashy valley girls from Beverly Hills that are made fun of by upper-class trailer park dwellers. Let me guess, you watch 90210, MTV's Real World and HBO's Sex In The City, right?  Grow up, get a life, go to college, and then come work for us.

 

"I live in a trailer park and don't appreciate your sarcasm against trailer park dwellers."

Response:  If it will make you buy our product, then we apologize and don't mean any harm.  I do have a question though... If your trailer park floods, and all the trailers slide 50 feet down the park, does everyone have to file a change of address with the United States Postal Service?  How would they find you?

 

"What effects could I expect from using dehydrated water in my radiator?."

Response:  Countless tests have proven that dehydrated water is so fine that it will seem as though you are using nothing at all.

"You guys absolutely rule, these idiots writing you...wait...dammit.  Now I've become one of them..."

Response:  Hehehe... no comment.

 Updated: June 05, 2006